Well, no. It’s not going to be. 😬
Life has this habit of surprising you when you least expect it. Sometimes for the better, and sometimes… I’d better shut up. I’ve been doing this for years, I’ve dealt with all kinds of clients: high, low, believers, atheists, nice, intense, weird, heavy… but yesterday… yesterday was a highlight. 📸
And beware, I already have a keen sense of smell to detect the «special ones» (we understand each other). From the first call I already noticed that this one had a theme. But not even in my worst predictions would I have imagined it like this 😵💫.
📞 The phone rings. A guy tells me that three people want to come and book two rooms. Perfect. I give him a price, he tells me he will consult. Normal. So far, so good. But then… THE QUESTIONING begins:
– Can you see the sky from there? 🌌
– Can you see stars at night? ✨
– How is the house oriented? 🧭
I’m left wondering: But what is this, an interview for an astronomical observatory or what? I answer as best I can:
-It depends on where you stand, sir. 🤷♂️
Then he tells me that he is bringing very expensive material and needs security. I tell him:
-Here we have dogs 🐕, and very nice ones, by the way.
He almost hung up on me. As if I had offered him pitbulls from an American movie. 😂
Even so, I keep answering him. And in the afternoon… surprise! A reservation comes in. But not for two rooms, no. A triple room, with terrace. Two nights. Well, cool, at least it was already made.
The next day he calls again. The same one. And he starts again with the weird questions:
– Is it going to be cold?
– Is it going to rain?
– Will there be a north wind?
– Is it going to be foggy in the morning?
He only needed to ask me about the humidity in decimal degrees. I told him:
-Look, turn on TV3 and listen to Mauri… hopefully he gets it right.
(Although we all know that Mauri has something personal against rural tourism. He always paints it as the end of the world and then it doesn’t even sparkle 🌧️❌ )
The day arrives. I’m in the kitchen, I look out the window… and what I see has no name. It looked like something out of a painting of Las Meninas, but in a dramatic version, with an air of an Antena 3 program at 16:00. A very strange thing. 😵
I welcome them. I explain to them how everything is going (this is an understatement, because they didn’t even listen to me by chance). The atmosphere between them was tense. Cold. Pure bad feeling. They talked to each other as if they hated each other. And I didn’t know who was who. Couple? Family? Paranormal meeting? No idea. But weird, weird.
We went up to the room. And it was like a ping pong game:
– «Yes»
– «No»
– «Yes»
– «No»
I was about to get some popcorn. 🍿
I go back to my stuff and the gentleman appears:
-Hey, the beer doesn’t work well. It only foams 🍺
I ask you if you have done it as I explained. Evidently, no. It went in one ear and out the other. I put it on him, he goes away so happy… and leaves his there, full of foam. Wonderful 🙄
They are on the terrace and, after a while, one of the women comes straight to me and says:
– Come with me to reception, I want to check in, I don’t know where to do it.
Okay, I go with her. I arrive with her and she drops the bomb:
-Look, with these «…» I’m not going to share a room with them. They’re a «…» and a «…». 😳😳😳
There I was, with a poker face, trying not to show the mixture of disbelief, internal laughter and the desire to run away. And thinking: But what exactly did these people come here for? They look like water and oil… they repel each other. 🤦♂️
💣 And here comes the best part…
Seeing the scenario, to avoid being cancelled at the last minute and being left stranded (and with two palms of noses), I offer another room at 50% of the price. That’s what it is to do with my heart. 💸
And that’s when the lady’s plot twist begins:
- No car 🚫🚗
- She has no one to bring her to MasTorrencito.
- Can barely walk 🦯
- And be careful… the strongest thing…
👉 They are not even friends of hers!
👉 She doesn’t like dogs! (excuse me?! 🐶)
👉 And yes, the most brutal thing… she had already told them she didn’t want to come. Still, she shows up.
And I’m standing there, trying to assimilate such a mindfuck. Because I swear I still don’t understand why they came. If it seems that they are together by mistake. Or by divine punishment. Or because they lost a bet. Or because they were brought here by an algorithm that mixed up the data wrongly. 😵💫
And if I describe the «couple»… they denounce me. Really. I don’t know how they haven’t been in a Netflix documentary yet» level. Anything I can say would be an understatement.
So nothing, here I am, with my eyes like saucers, my head spinning, and thinking that I should start writing a book. Because yesterday was not rural tourism. It was theater of the absurd with breakfast included ☕🎭
And the truth is that the other couple can not be described because if I do… they denounce me… jajajajjajajajja…..
And the best (or the worst, depending on how you look at it) comes at the end…
After so many absurd questions, so many cosmic demands, and so much history with the «super super super super super expensive material»… do you know what it brought? NOTHING. Zero. No box, no special suitcase, no mystery bag… not even an old laptop. 🧳❌
And if that wasn’t enough… IT RAINS! ☔
Not a silly cloud. No. All weekend cloudy, dark and with that fine rain that soaks your soul. You couldn’t even see the stars of Bethlehem.
Will continue….??????
From MasTorrencito we wish you a good day and may your dogs be with you!!!!
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If you want, you can see our vouchers for weekends, retirees vouchers, at an incredible price… go to www.mastorrencito.com or if you want you can read more history and anecdotes that have happened to us in MasTorrencito… Click here … https://mastorrencito.com/
